Saturday, September 20, 2008

muse

I've stopped blogging, mainly because I felt I wasn’t leading a blog-worthy life any longer. Life in Egypt was totally blog worthy. I was seeing, doing, consuming a life I liked to write about, which I thought people would find mildly interesting enough to read because it wasn't a typical existence. Egypt was my muse, it inspired me.

Singapore, unfortunately, is not much of a muse. When is 'home', the country you grew up in, ever much of one? Nothing is new, nothing is breathtakingly fresh (although to be honest, the Singapore i left behind 8 years ago is loooong gone). And as much as I love love love my job, and as much ‘fun’ as I'm having here in Singapore, and whiling the hours and days away with whatever comes in my way, its all very … normal. I go to work. I look forward to the weekend. I see my friends, we plan fun things to do. I plan holidays and look forward to them......

And so it goes.

I only realised much later, this wasn't boredom. This is life....for most people.

And who would want to read about my very normal life? And why would I want to document it? I hate those blogs where the writer thinks I actually care about where she went clubbing, and how they’re upset with their boss. Like unless, he or she is in the Mauritanian desert working as a goat herder and doesn’t like how his boss makes him get too friendly with the mammals. Then, for sure, a little office politics becomes fascinating.

And up till now, I thought you know what, its ok. I have had my fair share of extraordinary, more than most people in the world ever get. Perhaps, at some point, we must all slow down, for the sake of doing the things we need to do (read: family, career) and its just okay to be normal for awhile.

It just doesn’t feel right though.

Sometimes I wonder what I'd be doing if I lived a life where I truly didn’t have to think of ANYBODY else other than myself…….I like to imagine myself freelancing in Jerusalem (in fact THAT offer from THAT guy still stands). But sometimes, other things, other people are more important than adventure. I’m not sure how long we can keep this free spirit locked in a box though.

7 comments:

Hesham said...

Well, you have one fan here. I subscribed to your RSS few months ago. Keep posting! :)

Marie said...

I so totally know where you are coming from.

Nay-Nay said...

Yeah I felt that way when I left Egypt and every once and awhile that feeling creeps back up on me. That's when I plan an amazing vacation :-) don't forget about South American 2010!!!

Vimaljit said...

........ditto =)

The Girl said...

I really feel I can relate to that... since moving back to Singapore, my writing bores even me. Like you said, who wants to read about hating someone's boss and yet, thats the only material I can think of these days. Even posts that start out interesting in my head lose their magic as the words appear on the screen. I reckon once you feel the itch to move, its definitely time to go.

Pardeep said...

Farzina - ever since coming back from my life in the US, I can totally understand what "free spirit" actually meant and felt like...

Preethi said...

yep, i feel the same here, having lived in different continents all throughout my life, going back to where you grew up is not as adventurous as living as a foreigner. i am still a foreigner in switzerland, and enjoy that, but i woould love to go back to singapore and live there at least 1 or 2 years, just to be with family...sigh:) enjoy while you can though!