10 Signs you've been living in Egypt for too long

1. At an Eilat zebra crossing, you wait for the cars zooming towards you to pass, then double up in shock when they come to a standstill at the zebra crossing, patiently waiting for you to cross.

2. Within your first 15 minutes in Jerusalem, you get told off by a cop for jaywalking. Jaywalking.

"Why did you cross when the red man was flashing?"
"Oh....erm, I'm sorry, do you not do that here?"
"No. Where you come from?"
"Singapore"
"Don't they have traffic rules there?"
"Yes....but I've been living in Cairo for over a year."

Apparently they fine you here for jaywalking. Apparently, they hide by the side of the road to catch unknowing jaywalking criminals and slap fines on them. You would think that for a nation knee-deep in conflict, jaywalking would be a minor issue. Or maybe it's a survival mechanism. How to survive the trauma of life as an occupier: live in deep denial about the wider issues, and focus on the itty bitty little things you feel in control of. Like jaywalking.

Ok that's just two signs. But 10 sounds cooler. I'll come up with the rest later.